Happy October, Gaveliers faithful. Are you loving this or what?
No one believed a team made up of judges of widely varying ages and waistlines could compete in the PAC-12[1] right out of the gate. But here we stand in our inaugural season, 6-0 overall with three wins over conference foes. We’re bowl eligible!
How have we done it? From our very first staff meetings last winter, the position coaches and I vowed to be imaginative on offense, imaginative on defense, and it’s no exaggeration to say that no college football program in the country has been more imaginary than ours.
The success has been incredible. I sometimes think I’m dreaming. Like a few days ago when I found myself in the hallway at my high school and couldn’t remember my locker combination. I was already 90 minutes late for my two-hour Trigonometry final and wearing nothing but underwear. This shouldn’t have mattered and ultimately didn’t, I realized over breakfast, because I’m 58 years old.
I’m grateful to all the alumni who submitted questions this week. I can’t get to all of them, but let me respond to a few of the most frequently asked.
Our kicker has been amazing. I’ve never heard of a team even attempting a 72-yard field goal. Question: Is she human?
Yes! But I understand the skepticism. Hon. Sarah Holmes-Jackson’s placekicking feats have been nothing short of superhuman. She’s also experimenting with punting. Last week in practice she reached 3 minutes 17 seconds of hangtime on a punt that glanced off of a United Airlines jetliner.
Why aren’t any of the networks or streaming services carrying Gaveliers games?
Take a guess: money. I’m told that our PAC-12 leadership is in negotiations with several potential broadcasters and has set the floor for any deal at $1.4 billion over five years with a 7 percent share of ad revenue and Argentina. Fingers crossed.
When are we going to be able to buy Gaveliers gear with the Bearister the Bear mascot or that wonderfully offensive gavel-headed shark character?
Right now! Go to The NJC Shop and click the Gaveliers tab. You’ll find the first few character items on this page. Order now to support the College and get gifts for the judge in your life in plenty of time for the holidays.
Also, let Interim Athletic Director Ed Cohen (egcohen@judges.org) know if you’d like to apply for a position on my staff or as a coach in a different sport. We’re always looking for imaginative judges to join the NJC Athletics Program. Among other perks, you’ll get to write team reports like this one.
Feel free to email me questions for our next team report at the address below.
Go Gavs!
[1] Pseudo Athletic Conference-12
Head Football Coach
indyjudge@gmail.com
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